No Clean Clothes
By Robert Munsch
Illustrated by Michael Martchenko
Behind the Story
Lacey checked all the drawers in her dresser. No Clean Clothes. She ran downstairs to the kitchen and demanded that her mother wash her clothes.
Lacey, I would wash them if I could find them. said her mother. You hide them under your bed. You lend them to your friends. You leave them in the back yard. Sometimes I think you feed your underwear to the dogs.
Mom, Don't be silly. All I need is one shirt. Cant you find me one clean shirt? Lacey asked.
Well there is that nice shirt grandma gave you for your birthday. You've never worn that. said Mom.
That shirt is a Strange Grandma Shirt. When I was three, grandma gave me a shirt that said Snookie Wookums and everyone laughed at me. When I was four, grandma gave me a shirt that said Cutie Patootie and everyone laughed at me. When I was five, grandma gave me a shirt that said Cuddly Wunkums and everyone laughed at me. Now I am six and grandma gives me a shirt that says KISS ME - I'M PERFECT. I am NOT wearing that shirt to school. Only a grandma would choose a shirt like that.
Now Lacey, said Mom. Just wear that shirt this morning and I will wash a shirt and bring it to school at recess.
You will wash it right away? Lacey asked.
Yes said Mom.
You will not talk on the phone?
No said mom
You will not wash the dishes?
No said Mom
You will not go shopping on the way?
No said Mom
You will not go to work and chop down a tree?
No said Mom.
OK. Then I will be on the steps of the school at recess.
So Lacey wore a shirt to school that said KISS ME - I'M PERFECT.
On the way to school she was kissed by a kitten, a dog, an eagle and a moose. By the time she got to school, Lacey was a mess and she loved her shirt. After she washed up she went back to the classroom where she was kissed by a boy. YUCK! BOY KISS AAAAAAAHHHHHH. Lacey went to the bathroom and washed her face until recess. When she went to stand on the school steps, she was kissed by a bear.
When Lacey got home after school, her mother asked, I didn't see you at school today. Was the shirt ok?
I LOVE this shirt said Lacey. I called Grandma from the school office and she is going to send everyone at school, a Strange Grandma shirt.